1+1: Reflection is stretching + Daily reflection questions

Here's one leadership idea and one resource I’ve found beneficial in the past two weeks:

1 idea: Reflection is stretching

In the last few years, I’ve come to terms with a new reality: I am not a young man anymore. This realization was painful in more ways than one—namely, because it came when I threw my back out playing pickleball.

There I was, facing off against the 10^th-best player in the Midwest region. It was game point, and I somehow held a one-point advantage. I served with the game on the line, and he delivered the blistering cross-court return that made him infamous on YouTube. I lunged across the court to reach it—literally going airborne. In slow-motion, I descended toward Earth, paddle outstretched.

In the last possible moment, the tip of my paddle contacted the ball, returning it perfectly down the line to win the game. I watched the shot fall as my body crashed into the ground, wrecking my back. My grimace of pain was quickly replaced by a smile though as my friends reacted in disbelief at my once-in-a-lifetime game.

Actually, the truth is I just bent over to pick up a ball that went out of bounds, and my back went out. But that sounds lame, so can we just pretend the first story is true?

As I lay on the chiropractor’s table the next day wincing in pain, I kicked myself for not taking precautions to avoid the injury. (Well, I tried to kick myself, but you know…back problems). I was frustrated because the injury was totally avoidable. Before the game started, I’d noticed my hamstrings were tight and needed stretching, but I was too impatient to do toe-touches beforehand. As a result of my hurry, I would spend even more time over the next few weeks going to the doctor and stretching on my own.

Reflection is a lot like stretching: it’s a critical leadership behavior that can often feel like a waste of time. It’s said that we don’t learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience, and that’s true. I can’t develop an accurate self-perception or learn from failure (Humbler Leadership pillars #1 & #3) without pausing to reflect. And yet, reflection can look like doing nothing. Why pause to think or journal when I could get on with the real work of doing stuff?

The reason good leaders make time for reflection is that, like stretching, it strengthens us and prevents injury. If I feel a bit peevish toward a coworker and I don’t pause to reflect on my inner world, I may unintentionally sabotage the relationship and even make it unsalvageable. If I deliver a project at work and it goes nowhere, my first instinct may be to funnel my frustration into the next big thing right away. But if I stop to think about how I missed the mark, I greatly increase the odds that my efforts won’t be wasted next time.

Like stretching, reflection isn’t the goal, but it enables me to reach the goal. It keeps me from hurting myself and others by keeping things in alignment. It loosens me up, enabling me to be more flexible and adaptable. It helps me access all of my strength by stretching my perspective and widening my potential options.

So what does this practically mean? It means:

• Conducting after-action reports (post-mortems) after a project to learn what worked and what to improve next time

• Journaling daily to reflect on life events, process difficult emotions, and clarify priorities

• Challenging your narratives and limiting beliefs through executive coaching

• Spending five minutes before a meeting to write down your questions and goals

Make space for reflection this week. Like stretching, if you take time to do it well, you might even find that you enjoy it.

***

• What keeps me from reflecting more often?

• What one-time events should prompt a pause for reflection?

• When could I create recurring rhythms of reflection?

1 resource: Daily reflection questions

If you’re not spending any time reflecting now, fear not: you don’t have to carve out hours every day for it. Just start small. Take two minutes to answer these three questions every morning or evening. You’ll be glad you did.

PS: Ouch! How Home Alone stunts were made...