1+1: Wringing out the stress sponge + Lectio 365

Here's one leadership idea and one resource I’ve found beneficial in the past two weeks:

1 idea: Wringing out the stress sponge

Last summer, I did something I haven’t done since elementary school: I took a field trip.

On a Friday in June, I drove up to a horse ranch in Auburn, IN, to learn about Equine Assisted Therapy. My goal was to better understand how horses interact with our nervous systems, helping us regulate our emotions and ultimately become more of who we were made to be.

I arrived at Image of Hope and was greeted by the wonderful founder/executive director/horse trainer Alisha Shank. After getting to know my mount for the day, I climbed onto a mare named Joy and tried to relax as she walked slow loops around the corral. As we moved, Alisha explained how they use these animals to help emotionally dysregulated people calm down:

“We work with lots of kids and teens that come from difficult backgrounds. Once they get onto a horse, I tell them to picture their stress flowing down from their heads, into their chests, then their legs, then down into the horse, and finally into the ground. As they ride, the rhythm of the horse and the emotional connection they form with it helps them to release that stress. It gets their brain fully back online.” As I sauntered bareback on sweet Joy, I could feel the peace she was describing emerging naturally. It was addicting in the best possible way.

But then Alisha tossed in an unexpected anecdote that turned her story into a leadership lesson for me. “These horses are so emotionally attuned to humans that they actually take on the stress of their riders. In fact, after the kids leave for the day, we have to do therapy with them to help them de-stress. Otherwise, that stress will build up and they will get sick.”

Horses get sick because of stress transmitted from humans? What a wild idea. But as unbelievable as that concept was to me, it completely fits with research on how humans experience social stress.

In short, the news isn’t good for the chronically stressed. Researchers find that interpersonal stress makes us more likely to catch a cold, contract cancer, and develop heart disease, to name a few. In other words, emotional sickness often translates to physical sickness.

Stress is an unavoidable aspect of life, and it's inevitable for good (i.e., humble) leaders. That’s because part of our job is to absorb the stress of our people so they can function with clear hearts and minds. By soaking up the stress of the environment, we enable others to function at their best. So while it’s helpful to ask How can I avoid stress as a leader?, a more helpful question might be How can I get rid of stress once I absorb it? 

If we are acting as sponges and sopping up some of the stress of the people we care about, we must ensure that stress doesn’t turn toxic for us or drip onto our family and friends. The best way to do that is to find ways to “wring out the sponge” daily or weekly. By developing a set of consistent practices that enable you to de-stress, you can remain effective and avoid burnout at the same time.

So what should you do to de-stress? While different things work for different people, my experience coaching executives tells me that some are much more effective than others:

As you absorb stress from your environment, consider how you could better prioritize de-stressors that are effective for you.

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• Which practices are most de-stressing for you?

• Where could you fit them in next week?

• What's stopping you from making this a part of your ongoing schedule?

1 resource: Lectio 365

One of the tools I reach for when I’m stressed is Lectio 365. When I find myself getting frazzled or need to wind down when traveling, their 10-minute mini-podcast prayers are gold for me.

PS: To Whomever It May Concern...